In collaboration with the Butterfly Run Vancouver, BC Women's Health Foundation and Reproductive Mental Health we are sharing real stories from real women to support pregnancy loss, infant loss and infertility awareness. Read Michelle's story about infertility, miscarriage, and her experience with an ectopic pregnancy.

MICHELLE’S STORY

Even before marrying my husband in 2017, we had discussed our hopes of becoming parents one day. After trying to conceive for over a year we ended up seeking assistance from fertility specialist. I was diagnosed with unexplained infertility. My husband and I knew that this would mean conceiving would be hard, however, we would do whatever we could to become parents. Getting my period month after month was heartbreaking. Every negative pregnancy test was a reminder that I was not pregnant, not a mother. After 3 failed Intrauterine Inseminations (IUI’s) I finally became pregnant in August of 2020. We were overwhelmed with joy. Our prayers had been answered. At 6 weeks pregnant I began to have left side abdominal pain and cramping. After going to the emergency room and having an ultrasound and bloodwork I was told my pregnancy hormone (HCG) levels showed that the baby’s growth had stopped. As a medical professional I knew what that meant, I had miscarried. I was devastated, along with my husband. I felt like I had failed as a woman. Being a mother is something I felt I was meant to do and I could not even carry a baby. I was sent home and told that the cramping would cease over the next few days. In the middle of the night, I started having extreme pain on the left side of my abdomen and bleeding. The ambulance took me to emergency and I had another ultrasound. Turns out I had an ectopic pregnancy that was on the verge of bursting. I was taken for emergency surgery. Within 24 hours I had lost a baby and had my left fallopian tube removed. This would make getting pregnant even more challenging. A burst ectopic pregnancy is life threatening, but I knew that by keeping myself safe I also lost the life I wanted to grow. I was angry at my body for failing me. Would I ever become a mother? Will my prayers ever be answered? I can happily report as of 29-AUG-2021 I am 31 weeks pregnant. Every time I look at my growing belly, I see the scars, reminding me of the baby I lost. I feel so blessed to be pregnant as I know many women are still trying after suffering a pregnancy loss. My heart and prayers are with those who are still dreaming for their miracle.